Apr 2021 – CHARLEY MILLAR ART

Comfort Doll

After a positive response in my last crit to the first comfort doll/object i made for my self i decided to make another two. Again just using scraps of fabric and things left over from other projects and things iv made. I also used old socks/pants that i would have otherwise thrown away. Repurposing bits of things i have to make myself a comfort object. The three of them big enough to hold and interesting and complex in terms of the different textures, shapes and colour. And when all but together create interesting compositions and things to draw from. Though i think they have a kind of ugliness to them they almost resemble a child drawing. They are kind of 3d drawings of scraps. Brough together making a composition of textures.

Observational Drawings

Moving forward these images and the objects themselves provided me with a staring point for drawings. Using a hand full of different timed drawing exercises on A3 paper using a mixture of kids crayons and pen. Some drawn by feeling the object with one hand and drawing with the other, some just looking at the object and not at the paper. As well as using my left hand and holding multiple pens at one time. The drawing themselves i think convey the kind of childish quality i think the object has and i like a lot of the lines and textures that have came out of them.

I think the drawings where you can see repeated circular motions hold a softness to them and communicate this idea of how the object feels. Using these drawings I could make maybe a larger scale comforter object with the purpose of reflecting these drawings and again making the object for myself out of this is have.

I also found these drawings to be a nice break from all the sewing knitting and gluing that has become kind of frustrating at some points through the project. Its given me time to think about and observe what kind of object i have made, the space it occupies and who its for, what purpose dose this comfort object have? dose it fulfil it?

Writing to objects

As it was suggested to me i my crit i wanted to write to the object and from the perspective of the object again thinking about what purpose dose it have and if it requires one at all. When writing i was kind of questioning why it was made and asking if it was selfish if me to make something intentionally just for myself. How would it feel to just be made purely for touch and comfort.

I them began to draw similarities between me and the thing i had made for myself out of my own belongings. Am i a comforter for people, do people rely on me to give them what they need?

I was also acknowledging that the thing iv made hasn’t been made very well purely because of my skill set and the materials i have however because i made it for myself i can identify its charm and things i like about it. Much like a child would think the world of a ragged toy or baby blanket.

acknowledging it has been poorly made but has redeemable qualities that i have attached to it. Maybe this is true when i think about myself and things that comfort me, acknowledging that its not the best quality or coping mechanism but it brings with it reassurance or feelings of comfort. The quality of an object or a person or a habit is more important that is aesthetic value.

structures

After feedback from a one to one i decided to move away from making box rooms as this was becoming very limiting in the sense that it could only be a proposal for a space and nothing else. So moving forward i wanted to create structures (small scale) still thinking about colour texture line and creating a playful space. Though time consuming to wrap in the wool the 3 i made offer lots in terms of thinking about occupying a space to make it more playful or child like. They also offer good potential for maybe more 2D drawings and collage work. I could also see them with smaller things (text ) imbedded in the wool itself.

Again however, I became stuck and decided to focus more on making an object instead of a comfort space i wanted to create a comfort object. Something that would sooth and reflect this same colourful safe childish environment that i have been focusing on.

comfort objects

shifting focus to objects of comfort my first response was things like blankets and pillows.As well as this i started to incorporate and play around with knitting and crocheting as acts of creating something to comfort someone and warm someone else. the fact that these processes are also associated with women and crafts instead of art. Th rhythmic quality of knitting i also found really interesting. I think a lot of what i take comfort in this female energy and surrounding myself with women. I always associate safety with woman. I feel like there is this shared pain and understanding between women that i don’t feel exists in the same way between men.

Women also hold this nurturing quality that i guess is almost expected and assumed. I made small little cushions with all the things i feel encapsulate comfort itself- safety, familiarity and reliability. Having them a small little objects you could hold i find really interesting, almost like little keep sakes that could be passed around when needed.

Thorough this iv been researching into why we have comfort objects. Things like security blankets or toys that provide phycological comfort to us not only as children but as adults. The transitional object does not have to be a blanket. It can be a stuffed bear or some other toy that the child finds comforting. The transitional object is comforting when the mother is not around or at any other time. Most mothers try to wash it because it becomes dirty and smelly. Most kids hold onto it because the smelliness and dirtiness forms part of what feels familiar, safe and comforting. But why do we loose this as adults?

According to the New York University Psychoanalytical Institute, “the transitional object may be conceived of in three ways: as typifying a phase in a child’s development; as a defense against seperation anxiety and, lastly, as a neutral sphere in which experience is not challenged.”

Reflecting on this i wanted to create my own transitional comfort object, using scrap fabrics and old thins associated with me. making it to ‘feel better’. Though it holds this real ugly quality to it i find it really endearing and nice to hold.